Tear the World Down
by BelovedSlayer
Summary: Buffy says goodbye to the one she loves before jumping into the portal. Takes place during The Gift.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Notes: Takes place during The Gift, but will be a bit AU. A little tidbit: Buffy knows about Angel's son. I know there's a few stories out there already written about this particular scene, but in my version, I am planning on adding a bit of a twist to it. Lyrics are from the song titled All I Need by Within Temptation. Love that band. And yes, there will be another chapter added. Enjoy! _**

Chapter One.

_Together you are strong; alone you are dead. _

"Buffy, don't do this. You don't have to."

"You know I have to. It's my duty. I have no choice, do I? You know how it goes; being the Slayer, I have to save the world, even if I don't want to at times. I can't let the whole world get sucked into Hell because of me. You _know_ that. And I'm not gonna let Dawn die because of my choice." She spun to face him, a consternated, determined look on her face. She trotted slowly towards him, strands of hair crackling with the surge of energy the portal was transmitting.

"I won't let you do this. I will not stand here and let you die! I can't fight evil alone. Not without you at my side," his voice lowered into a trembling sound, tears, heartbreak, and stubbornness threatening to break out into the surface.

She pressed her hand against his cold cheek, caressing it gently, lovingly, leaving a trail of kisses in its' wake. For a mere second, it warmed his cold, unbeaten heart, but it wouldn't last.

He could feel his soul breaking in half, leaving a shell of a man in its' place. She was his sunlight, his warrior, his Champion, his companion, his lover, his other half. All of it, threatening to be thrown away in a matter of moments.

Despite the time being spent apart and the mere fact that he had left her behind for her own benefit, time itself couldn't simmer his love for her.

At the very moment, his love for her grew a thousand fold. Nothing in neither Heaven nor Hell would ever destroy it, as long as the sun continued to shine and the Earth continued to spin its' axis. Nor neither death itself could interfere or destroy their bond.

He was certain of it. She was absolutely certain of it as well, regardless of the distance and the heartbreak that had come in between them years' past. Tears sprang relentlessly in her eyes, blinding her vision. She knew what was to come. The time was ticking, alerting her, taunting her.

Fear, anxiety, and love overwhelmed her, knees almost buckling underneath the pressure. She turned her body towards the portal, noticing its' rapid growth that was continuing to escalate.

Soon, it spewed hundreds of vile creatures into the night sky that resembled the forms of ancient dragons. "There's not much time left. I have to go," she muted, wiping away fresh tears that spilled onto the steel deck as she lowered her head against his shoulder, unconsciously circling his waist, clinging on to him with every ounce of desperation and desire that burned within her, body, heart, and soul.

"I don't want you to," he whispered solemnly against her cheek, circling her waist mechanically, nudging her neck and shoulders with trails of tiny, gentle kisses that felt as if they were made of blocks of ice.

Despite its' frigidness, it felt soothing against the Slayer's skin. She raised her head, eyes boring into his, arms still circling his waist, fingers running smoothly underneath his duster, caressing his bare skin that caused inexplicable goose flesh to form.

It was him that had always given her the strength and the determination to fight against the forces of darkness, no matter how daunting it became at times. He was her light.

He was hers, and she would always be his, no matter the circumstances, no matter their destiny, no matter what the Powers had decided what was best for their warriors. They held one another close against the rising demons and creatures, until they lips melded into one, their souls singing with emotion that couldn't be denied nor suppressed.

Their kiss grew passionately, despondently, lovingly, all yearning, desire, and loss molded into that one simple kiss that took her breath away.

"I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry that I didn't came in time to stop Glory," he apologized, guilt riding him, until she placed a finger on his cold, moist lips, silencing him.

"Don't. How could you even say that? It's not your fault. You couldn't had known that this was gonna happen. Don't feel guilty, I don't want you to. I don't want you to feel that way even after when I'm gone. What I want...what I want...is for you to be happy, be strong. Be brave. Live…for me."

"But, how can I? This is what we're supposed to be doing Buffy. You and me, fighting together, not losing one another by dying! I can't lose you. Not again. At least, let me go with you." He completely broke down, embracing her, leaving kisses that radiated of sadness and despair throughout her neck, her shoulders, and her lips, inhaling her scent that was familiar and intoxicating to him. He dropped to his knees, clutching at her legs, leaving her stunned and speechless.

She ran her fingers through his hair in a soft manner, regaining her voice, bending to her knees. In the distance, a rumble of thunder could be heard. A flash of lighting cackled through the sky seconds later. "I can't let you do that. What about your son? What about Connor? He's what matters to you. You can't leave him fatherless, you know that. It wouldn't be fair to him. He'd had no one to care for him, or protect him. He needs you." She attempted to sooth her lover, bringing his face close to hers, inhaling his scent, her face inches from his.

He sighed, knowing that she was right. He couldn't abandon his son, not when he needed him the most. "What if I never see you again? We both know what's gonna happen as soon as you jump into that portal. You'll lose your life. You'll be dead. And I'll be alone." His chocolate orbs pierced into her eyes with a look of hopelessness and fear.

She placed another soft kiss to his lips, tasting his own tears, cradling him against her shoulder. "You'll never be alone. I'll always be with you. Always. Live, for me. Live for your son. Live to fight another day. Make me proud." She left a gentle kiss on top of his matted hair, holding him against her breast.

Reluctantly, they both gathered themselves to stand on their feet, their eyes never leaving each other. She placed her hand in his, their fingers intertwining. It was their moment to say goodbye. They stood in silence, and then, once more, he gathered her into his arms, desperate kisses adorning one another until she was entirely out of breath.

Electricity cackled and shimmered through the air. She pushed herself away from him, forcing him to look at her. "I love you. I will always love you. We both know that this is the work that we have to do. Give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to be strong. Keep fighting, keep fighting for your redemption. You'll get it. I know you will. You are strong, and you are loved. Remember that." Another kiss to his lips, then she spun towards the portal, releasing his hold.

She turned around to glance at him one last time. "I love you, Angel. I always have. Nothing will change that."

"Are you still my girl?" He only asked, standing tall in the midst of the coming storm. She gave him one last smile.

"Always."

Then she turned, running towards the widening tunnel as it welcomed her into its' arms.

_Don't tear me down, for all I need_

_Make my heart a better place_

_Give me something I can believe_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: This chapter here is basically gonna cover some new ground because I've been wondering what it was like for Buffy as to what she was feeling when she jumped through the portal and how she was feeling before she was heading on over to the other side, or so she thought. A bit different this chapter will be, but hopefully it'll turn out good. Enjoy!  
**

Chapter Two

A million bolts of static electricity sizzled through her mind and body, the pain escalating into unfathomable heights until she closed her eyes against sudden brimming tears and gritted teeth, teetering close to the verge of losing consciousness.

She had wanted to yelp and snarl in excruciating pain, but didn't want to give up absolute control of her emotions. Her mind seeped into withering darkness as everything around her was vanishing into nothingness, leaving flickering shadows and beams of white hot light behind.

But she had noticed something off, something that was not particularly supposed to occur while traveling in the other dimension, the Other Side.

She felt her heart beat steadily, her pulse continuing to throb against her skin. She hesitantly inhaled a deep breath, filling her lungs, her arms pumping against her sides, the blood flowing and circulating in her veins.

She was supposed to be dead, wasn't she? "So how the hell am I still alive? This is not cool, you know," she queried, folding her arms behind her knees to sooth her quivering fear of the unknown, and the unanswered questions.

_Why am I here anyways? Did something happened? I don't…..remember, _she pondered in thought, searching her mind for answers, her forehead creasing into lines of uncertainty as she took in her newly found surroundings.

Flashes of forgotten memories abruptly developed in her mind, leaving her startled, bewildered. She saw herself standing in front of Angel, saying their goodbyes, kissing for the very last time, her mouth murmuring the words 'I love you' before she jumped into the enlarged portal. She remembered defeating Glory, smashing her to her death with the strength of the hammer in her hands.

Another memory loomed in the horizon, revealing a fallen Angel to his knees, begging her to stay, to not lead herself to her death. She brazenly recalled the distinct words of the First Slayer. _'_

"_Death is your gift," _she had said. She then recalled the words she had spoken to her lover, the words that he had needed to hear, despite his heartbreak and despair at the fact that he was losing her because of her duty and unwillingness to sacrifice Dawn.

She felt a pang tugging at her heart at the memories of her loved ones: Dawn, Xander, Willow, Anya, Tara, Giles, her mother, even Spike. She felt another tug, one that had made the Slayer clench her hand into a angry fist, but felt a burst of love coursing through in spite of it: Angel, and the difficult realization that she will never see him again, that they would forever be separated by way of spiritual planes.

"No, it can't be. How could this be? How could this happen?" She wondered desperately to herself, shaking her head furiously, feeling the sting of more tears threatening to spill, and the pain in her heart wanting to shatter into a million shards.

She placed her hand into her pocket, pulling out her claddagh ring, the one that had been given to her by Angel the night they had visited the docks, the very night that he was supposed to leave her behind for Napalm.

She had not told anyone that she had kept the ring during the intense battle with Glory. At the time, it had given her comfort that she had carried a piece that had belonged to her only true love. She had wanted a piece of him with her, in order to give her strength to perform her mission and see it completed.

She had never informed Angel of this.

She clutched the ring tightly, holding it, pressing its smooth coldness against her tear stained cheek, caressing it with a touch as light as angel's wings.

"Goodbye, Angel. Till we meet again. I love you, always," she murmured, placing a soft kiss to the crown and heart of the ring, fingering it before adding it to her left ring finger, the silver material cold and smooth against her warm skin. It glimmered under the beams of light.

"Goodbye? Hardly. You will have your chance to meet again, Slayer. It is your destiny, after all," a voice called from nowhere. Buffy called in a demanding voice, "Who's there?"

"A guardian, perhaps, guiding you on your spiritual journey, of sorts." The voice was female, firm, and gentle as if it were water running over a brook. Buffy's features had smoothed just a smidge. "Show yourself," she barked, and the presence immediately shown herself before her.

At first, the Slayer couldn't identify the being, but instinct had informed her otherwise. "Are you…are you…The Oracles? You work for the Big Guys up there, don't you? The Powers That Be?" Puzzlement settled on her expression. _Okay, this is totally giving me the wiggins. How did I know that? I couldn't have. That blue and gold mystic Smurf chick seems familiar….somehow. At least the name does. Huh. _

Another flash of distant memory struck the Slayer, her feet staggering, her balance faltering. It struck her as if it were a bolt of lighting. She saw her own voice being spoken in the newly unraveled memory. "'_Just like I always wanted. A normal girl, falling asleep in the arms of her normal boyfriend. It's perfect.'"_

"What just happened?" She clawed a hand through her hair, her mouth agape, baffled. "It appears you may have regained a lost memory from a lost day," the Sister Oracle announced, hands folded. "Lost day? What lost day? Did I forget a day or something? Because usually I have super awesome memory." Buffy had distinctively noticed another image in which she was tucked underneath mounts of red velvet duvets, embracing next to Angel, sleeping soundlessly and peacefully, but her mouth shut itself in a line in disbelief.

"No, Slayer. This lost day…was intentional. You were not supposed to remember the memories, due to the danger that was foreseen. The one memory you had just uncovered, is the first in many."

"Ohhh. And what danger?" She breathe in, allowing herself time to reveal the next question. "And why was Angel in the memory?"

"That I cannot tell you. The lost day was never supposed to be revealed to you, but it appears that the time may come for Angel to do so."

"Is that why I'm still alive?"

Unquestionable silence, and then," Yes. You had defeated Glorificus, and once again, saved the world, but it was not your time to cross over. Your destiny belongs to the vampire with a soul. And the world will need you once more, just as he will need you. The world needs its' Champions to fight off the coming darkness. Your destiny is to assist him and raise his son to be the strong, noble warrior he is destined to become. You will be his mother, his surrogate."

With that, a bulb of white light flashed before the Slayer's eyes, blinding her until she was forced to raise her hand to shield herself. "Where are we going?"

"To the place, where you belong," was all the Sister Oracle answered, in a cryptic fashion.

Seconds later, they stood in the middle of what appeared to be an empty apartment. They appeared in the center of the living room, the sounds of crackling wood emanating from a nearby fireplace.

Even in the darkness, Buffy had noticed that the interior decoration was designed in post modern upholstery, beige curtains fluttering against a cool breeze that was sweltering throughout the room.

Silence befitted the room. "What are we doing here?"

"Come with me," the Sister Oracle ordered, and the Slayer soon followed her into what appeared to be a master bedroom. Buffy noticed that she was in a corporeal form. A ghost. "Kinda cool," she muttered, eying her image in a nearby wall mirror. The Sister Oracle gave out what resembled to be a snort.

Immediately they stopped before a closed door, entering without having to turn the brass knob. A few feet away, Buffy's adjusted eyes saw a large form huddled underneath a thick quilt, heavy with what appeared to be slumber. She knew it was impossible, if the chance of it being Angel was underneath. "Angel?"

The Sister Oracle nodded. Buffy scooted quickly to the edge of the bed, her ghostly form perching against the right corner.

She tucked the quilt aside, eyes locking upon Angel's, his chocolate orbs grazing upon the ceiling, stained with tears and an emotion that nearly shattered the Slayer.

It was as if he was immobile, unable to move. "Why is he like this?" She almost cried, her eyes half-slits, threatening to spill salty liquid onto the sheets, she tilted her head upward, her ghostly hand caressing his sunken face.

Bottles of various sorts of alcohol and pig's blood laid scattered amongst the carved tables that were seated against both sides of the bed.

"Heartbreak. Mourning. He grieves at your loss, Slayer. He has been comatose for nearly a day. If you cannot save him, all will be lost. The world will succumb to darkness. It will need him, and you, to lead it back to the light. Before it is too late."

"What about his son?"

"Look over there, Slayer. He is well." It took only a nanosecond until the Slayer scampered to a dark blue crib where the infant laid asleep. Connor. She hovered over him, cradling his small hand with her phantom fingers.

"How do I save them? If Angel's smashed, who's protecting Connor?" She didn't tear her gaze away, her eyes remaining on the child. "Unfortunate in that the child is now unprotected without his father. A much bigger challenge lays ahead in that there are dark forces attempting to invade him in order to bring him to the dark side." At this knowledge, fury and protectiveness blossomed on the Slayer's face. Fire raged in her narrowed eyes.

" The more important question at hand, Slayer, is are you more than willing to give up your potential at peace? To protect those you loved? To protect the child? To protect the world once again?"

A difficult question to answer, and the Slayer was well aware of it. Was she willing to give up a new life of happiness and peace, a life without constant Slayer patrolling and life-risking, in order to rescue the man she loved? Was she willing to become the Slayer once again to protect both himself and Connor from the forces of evil?

Another look thrown towards her beloved, and the answer came immediately without hesitation.

"Yes."

~~~~~/////

**This is the final chapter guys, as I had intended for this story to have a maximum of just two, but don't worry, there will be a sequel in the works. Holtz will not be the one who will kidnap Connor and turn him against Angel. The sequel will go entirely AU. Big apologies for the cliffhanger. I wanted to try something different this time. Thank you all for the reviews!! The sequel will be posted soon.  
**


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